Starting Over
It has been awhile since I have written anything. I have had some great ideas and I had a beautiful blog but then I became busy. Busy with family. Busy with kids and their activities and therapies. Busy with friends. Busy with groups that seemed supportive and then were not. Lately I have been busy with Church and the politics of Church.
I have also been wrestling. With depression of a loved one. With autism and epilepsy and ADHD. I have wrestled with being supportive and wanting to be selfish. I have wrestled with friendships. I have wrestled with God.
I loved blogging and writing but then I wrestled with jealousy as I watched friends who started blogging the same time I did seem to build bigger platforms. I didn't think my voice was worthy of being heard. I had great ideas for posts but I didn't believe in me to write them nor did I give myself the time to write them. I focused on platform and forgot why we all started blogging to begin with: to be heard and share our voices. I never started blogging to get famous..., maybe I did want to be a part of something but I forgot what it felt like when my followers went from 10 to 11 and getting excited by people's comments. I forgot that I loved to share my husband's aunt's ministry. I miss the silly blog awards and the memes we all shared with each other. I want to get back to that simple joy and I believe there are many like me out there, before platforms and blogging conferences changed the landscape.
This year I vow to listen to the voice that says I am worthy of being heard. That I am good enough, smart enough and yes, some people still like me. I need to write. I want to write. I want to work on my craft and share my journey with anyone who is willing to listen.
I have also been wrestling. With depression of a loved one. With autism and epilepsy and ADHD. I have wrestled with being supportive and wanting to be selfish. I have wrestled with friendships. I have wrestled with God.
I loved blogging and writing but then I wrestled with jealousy as I watched friends who started blogging the same time I did seem to build bigger platforms. I didn't think my voice was worthy of being heard. I had great ideas for posts but I didn't believe in me to write them nor did I give myself the time to write them. I focused on platform and forgot why we all started blogging to begin with: to be heard and share our voices. I never started blogging to get famous..., maybe I did want to be a part of something but I forgot what it felt like when my followers went from 10 to 11 and getting excited by people's comments. I forgot that I loved to share my husband's aunt's ministry. I miss the silly blog awards and the memes we all shared with each other. I want to get back to that simple joy and I believe there are many like me out there, before platforms and blogging conferences changed the landscape.
This year I vow to listen to the voice that says I am worthy of being heard. That I am good enough, smart enough and yes, some people still like me. I need to write. I want to write. I want to work on my craft and share my journey with anyone who is willing to listen.
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